Due to confusion from readers, please note that this is a work of satirical fiction . Washington DC August 31, 2014 - Effective September 1, 2014, the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO) has mandated that time-outs must be performed prior to emergency tracheostomy due to any reason, no exceptions. Due to numerous incidences of "never" events and lack of consistent acquisition of consent prior to emergency tracheostomy to treat catastrophic airway…